Part 1…Designer Shoes Under $100 Snatched Out of Your Hands Here…

Today I decided that I am not as big a fan of humans as I once thought I was. I may very well offend all of you who consider yourselves to be human beings in this blog entry, so prepare yourselves. I spent the afternoon running errands for my friend. I do this from time to time. It’s a little extra spending money for me and a little extra time for her. Not a bad deal for either of us. Today my tasks were to go to Century 21, Zabar’s, and Trader Joe’s. Here is what I encountered while at Century 21.

I had never been to the Century 21 store at Lincoln Square. It just opened last month, and well…curiosity killed the cat. I entered to be greeted by five stories of horrors. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Century 21, and I recommend you stay that way, let me give you a brief summary of the stores contents and what my time there entailed. Century 21 sells excess or slightly irregular designer clothing, shoes, accessories, and whatnot at prices so low you cannot seriously continue to believe even designer brands do not use sweatshop labor overseas. The cast of characters there all equally vied for most annoying/ridiculous. First there were the Asian tourists (I am assuming they were all tourists…god help us all if they are natives of this island). They were fond of pushing others to get to items, shoes and bags especially. They all spoke very loudly and seemed to think it was quite acceptable to actually take merchandise out of other shoppers’ hands. There were the UWS women who were botoxed and liposuctioned into unrecognizable shapes. While clearly angry at the state of their faces and the facts that this crummy economy has forced them to stop paying retail and stoop to bargain hunting for Cole Haan boots at Century 21 there behavior was unladylike. When did pushing others become acceptable? At least they were more subtle and passive aggressive about it than their Asian counterparts. And I have news for you, when walking directly in front of someone as they are reaching for an item you are the one who owes an, “Excuse me,” to the person who’s arm you have rammed…not the other way around. Your deliberately running into me is not a good reason to mutter under your breath or glare at me. Oh wait, they didn’t glare at me, because they can’t. Although they did damn well try even with no movement in their faces above the eyebrows courtesy of the botulism injected into their foreheads. And then…drum roll please…there were the employees. Slowly stocking items while standing in front of an entire display refusing to let potential buyers of said product actually have access to one. Yelling at one another in what must be the new Ebonics and refusing to answer questions asked by shoppers. Awesome. I’m sure all those unemployed folks out there would love to have your job so perhaps doing more than snapping your gum in my face when posed with a simple question is in order lovely Century 21 employees.

Stay tuned for adventures with the senile folks at Trader Joe’s tomorrow…


About djunapassman

I teach yoga, write, and edit. I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood that is changing faster than I can, or care to, keep up with. Manhattan still beckons me to her island a few subways stops away, reminding me of when I lived amongst her daily hustle and bustle.
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