I am at a loss as far as what to write today. Not for lack of things to write about, but because of the depth of what has happened recently. I recently completed a 200-hour yoga teacher training program. Today I received the official certificate, which means I am now certified to teach yoga. This came on the heels of news that a dear friend, dancer in my company, and colleague was brutally attacked by a patient at work the other night. This, a month after another dear friend and colleague had her nose broken by a patient while at work. They are dance/movement therapists on inpatient psychiatric units. They were injured doing a job I left almost a full year ago. One year ago I was running groups on the units my friends were brutally attacked on.
I am left with a plethora of feelings right now. While horrified, angered, saddened, and many other things in regards to what happened to my friends I am also left with unresolved feelings surrounded a job I left, a job that was supposed to be my career. A job that I was not supposed to leave after only one short year. A job that placed me within a system that I believe does more harm than good at present, a broken system that is a reflection on our society as a whole. A system that pays administration handsomely while cutting budgets and pay of those who directly care for the people the system is designed to serve. I could go on and on, but I do not want to use this blog as a forum for that, at least not today. I will simply say, we as a society do not do an adequate job caring for and supporting those with mental illnesses.
And here I sit, a little less than a year after I left what was supposed to be my career with a certificate that frees me to pursue another path. A path that feels more right at this point in my life. Still, I cannot help but think about what I left behind. What may have happened had I not chosen to leave when I did and what not leaving means for all of my friends and colleagues who continue to do what I believe is one of the hardest and most rewarding jobs out there.