Things You Probably Do Not Need To Know

I am generally not one to forget things or let things go for extended periods of time. There are however exceptions. And today I am going to share one of those exceptions. This past summer I read that you can make ice cream out of a frozen banana. You cut the banana into slices, freeze them for a few hours, then blend the frozen banana pieces until they resemble the consistency of ice cream. It sounded like I pretty brilliant idea to me, especially since the staple of my diet becomes ice cream in the summer, so I cut up a banana one day and stuck a plate with banana pieces in the freezer. Now I know, this is the part of the story when I am supposed to either convince you to try this yourself or convince you that it was the worst idea ever and frozen banana in no way shape or form tastes like ice cream. A) You should try it. B) It does not taste like Haagen Dazs, but then again nothing, but Haagen Dazs tastes like Haagen Dazs. C) This story is going in a whole different direction.

Here we are, it is now the end of October. I open my freezer to put some newly purchased frozen foods in there when I discover I don’t have quite enough space. This is due to the fact that there is a plate of frozen banana pieces hanging out in there. Yes, I know, you are all very smart and by now have figured out that summer has passed, which means this plate has been in my freezer for at least a few months. And I’m sure you are all wondering how on earth I let a plate of banana pieces just hang out unnoticed in my freezer for several months. Well, I don’t know. Clearly I have made this banana ice cream concoction so there have been other rounds of sticking banana slices in the freezer. Why not use the ones on this plate? Well…I don’t know. I was hoping to have some really witty excuse, but I just don’t. I had a plate with banana slices on it sitting in my freezer for the better part of three months for no reason at all. There, okay, I admitted it. Needless to say, this plate needed to be removed so I could rearrange the contents of my freezer in a way that allowed the door to close and nothing to be unnaturally squished.

I removed the plate, with no real intention of making “ice cream.” I figured I would let the banana slices thaw then determine if I could eat them or if they just needed to be tossed. A full twenty-four hours later, the banana slices have neither thawed nor remained frozen. They are rock hard and stuck to the plate. Stuck like super glue to this plate. No amount of poking, prying, scraping is making these things budge. All that keeps running through my mind is, “What did I just discover?” Oh, and, “Why the hell did I use one of my good plates for this?”

I know, by now you are all looking for some sort of moral to all of this. And, quite frankly so am I, but I don’t have one. I have a plate of what were at one point in time frozen banana slices stuck to it. This plate has been soaking in the sink for quite some time now. There has been very little change in the weird consistency or the stuckness even with very hot water. If any of you have suggestions for turning my plate back into a useable plate or the phone number to a NASA engineer who could put these weird banana things to use please contact me.

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About djunapassman

I teach yoga, write, and edit. I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood that is changing faster than I can, or care to, keep up with. Manhattan still beckons me to her island a few subways stops away, reminding me of when I lived amongst her daily hustle and bustle.
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