I Bet You Thought I Was Gonna Talk About the Weather…

Last night I realized that I am far more vain, and care far more about my skin, than I previously thought. Okay, I didn’t come to this realization last night, I came to it this morning after several cups of coffee and an hour of watching the first winter storm of the season descend while it is still technically autumn. I was convinced, by a 19 year old wearing too much make-up with dyed jet-black hair covering her eyes, that I needed an acne cream. A $30 tube of acne cream that contains less than an ounce of cream. Most samples are larger than this tube of cream. $30. Is this what happens when you start aging? Adolescents convince you to buy shit you don’t need by uttering things like, “You’re skin looks acne prone.”

I would like to take a moment to defend myself. I am a wee bit hormonal right now because it happens to be that time of the month. I had had a rough morning. My skin does have some unsightly blemishes at the moment because whatever hormones caused my skin to break out when I was thirteen have started courses through my body once again. I had also gone to the store to get my free birthday gift and a free deluxe sample they were giving away.  I felt guilty for not intending to buy anything from this slightly depressed and overweight adolescent working for commission. I also felt VERY vulnerable when she said my skin looked acne prone. That’s just not nice. Even if you are working for commission and desperately trying to sell something to a woman who has no intention of actually spending any money during her visit to the store.

So now here I am, with a $30 tube of acne cream that is smaller than the free samples I got. If I accidentally squeeze this thing with the wrong amount of force at the wrong place the whole half an ounce could come squirting out all at once. A tube of cream this small is a liability. I can’t be trusted with this. And we all know what happens when I try new facial products (refer to Learning Lesson the Hard Way (Again)). I simply cannot keep this cream. I have to return it, but what if I come face to face with You Look Acne Prone Girl again? What if as I am returning the acne cream she tells me my skin looks wrinkle prone? Or my skin looks dry and flaky prone? Or what if she just uses the same line again and says my skin looks acne prone and I walk out with the same $30 tube of acne cream I intended to return because I allow my self-esteem to waffle when faced with a slightly depressed, overweight, adolescent with hair in her eyes trying to sell me stuff?


About djunapassman

I teach yoga, write, and edit. I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood that is changing faster than I can, or care to, keep up with. Manhattan still beckons me to her island a few subways stops away, reminding me of when I lived amongst her daily hustle and bustle.
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