So Awful It’s Awesome

Life has been beating me down a little more than I think is fair lately and taking sharp curves, finding random hills to go up, and braking suddenly without any warning. If there is an official complaint department for life, please let me know, I have a long list that I would like to submit. Today was what felt like an epic failure on many levels. There was however one truly terrific hour.

I took an aerial silks class this evening. It was one of the hardest, most exciting things I have done in a while, and it was a perfect metaphor for life, well mine at least. It required far more strength than I thought I had. And while it kicked my butt, I managed to get through the class and do everything that was taught to me. The silks were long, slippery, and cumbersome, and yet they were the one thing supporting me and preventing me from careening into the mat below. I hated them after the first few minutes, and then I had to learn to make peace with them, because like it or not, I had to figure out how to work with them. I kept getting tangled, slipping, stuck, and fatigued. While I am not scared of heights and generally pretty fearless when it comes to physically trying new things letting go of slippery pieces of fabric you are dangling from 10 to 20 feet in the air is not so easy. It took a lot of faith, a lot of strength, and a lot of letting go, literally and figuratively, to let myself be supported by nothing but pieces of silk I had somehow wrapped around different parts of my feet, legs, and back. I tried. I failed. I tried again. I got tangled. I wrapped my foot or leg around the wrong piece. I couldn’t figure out which direction to roll in. I got it wrong. I tried again. I succeeded. Then I had to do the other side. I got tired. I got frustrated. I got confused. I slipped, but didn’t crash into the mat below. I succeeded again. Then I was taught something new and the whole process began again. It was awesome! And so…the moral of today’s story is, I need to view my life as being awesome. I am going to get tangled, slip, fail, become so tired I think I cannot possibly do one more thing only to be told I have to not only do something harder, but let go of whatever I am desperately clinging to for safety, and it is going to happen over and over and over again. So I might as well start enjoying all the hard work and mini failures.

Take a moment to watch the first minute of this video (or watch the whole thing): The upside down, straddle, climbing thing she does at the very beginning of the video…I DID THAT! Okay, it was nowhere near as graceful and I only did three in a row before thinking I was going to seriously die from sheer exhaustion, but I did that. I have to toot my own horn here a little.


About djunapassman

I teach yoga, write, and edit. I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood that is changing faster than I can, or care to, keep up with. Manhattan still beckons me to her island a few subways stops away, reminding me of when I lived amongst her daily hustle and bustle.
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