Not So Enlightened

Just as I thought I was starting to make some headway, a really stupid event sidelined me yesterday. On Friday afternoon and evening I work at the front desk for a yoga studio. I have made it a practice to take the class that starts at the end of my shift, it is a lovely way to end the shift and start the weekend. I always set up my mat at the back of the room so I can check everyone in then slip into class. Yesterday was no different than any other week; I set up my mat in the back corner, placed a folded blanket on it, and set a block next to my little set up. I was ready.

Things were busier than usual before class started. Everyone seems to have decided this is the week they are going to make good on their New Year’s resolutions to get back in shape, as classes have been quite full this week. I didn’t feel too concerned, I had placed my mat close to the wall at the very back of the room so there was plenty of space around it. Finally, the last person trickled into the studio and I readied myself to slip into the studio for an hour of centering and grounding. I quietly entered the studio to find one of the students in the exact spot where my mat had been. My mat was carelessly folded up and tossed into the corner. This man was sitting on the blanket I had so carefully placed on my mat just a half hour earlier. I was stunned!

After the chanting one of the women in the back row slide her mat over so I could reposition my mat. I could not help but glare at this man who took my spot and tossed my mat aside. I hate when people touch my mat. Don’t touch my mat and get your weird vibes all over it unless you ask first! Did he really think someone had just left a mat with a blanket and block perfectly set up for class hanging out in the studio for no reason other than to annoy him and occupy the space he wanted? I spent the whole class fuming at this man. I felt violated, disrespected, and disgusted. How could he really be that clueless? That self-centered? That oblivious to others?

Halfway through class I realized that I was allowing my own practice to suffer because of this incident, because of this inconsiderate man. I was robbing myself of this time for me. I was disconnected and ungrounded. I was barely present. My mind was everywhere but focused on my breath. At one point the teacher asked us to sigh out of our mouths and let go of anything that was not serving our practices on that night. I let go a little, for a moment, then went right back to fuming. I was angry with someone who didn’t even know he had done anything. (Jerk.) I was only hurting myself. (Dumbass.) All of my inserted mean thoughts directed at him were really just steering me off course. Finally, by the end of class I was no longer thinking of how to snidely tell him what an asshole he was. I was almost okay with everything until I noticed him leave the room without putting the blanket he had used back on the shelves. The blanket that had been mine. He had stolen my stuff and then not put it back! I started hating him all over again. And while I come to my yoga mat to practice not letting the little stuff like this get to me sometimes I fall back into my old ways. Sometimes I am reminded that I am just a human trying to stumble through this life as unscathed as possible.


About djunapassman

I teach yoga, write, and edit. I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood that is changing faster than I can, or care to, keep up with. Manhattan still beckons me to her island a few subways stops away, reminding me of when I lived amongst her daily hustle and bustle.
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