I’m Uncomfortable

While I was alone tonight I caught myself quietly whispering, “I’m uncomfortable.” I was a little startled to hear myself verbalizing this. While true, I have been having a hard time naming it and accepting it. At the moment I put those words into the universe I was directly addressing my very upset stomach, but they apply to pretty much every aspect of my life right now.

I have been uncomfortable in my body lately. Age and a slowing metabolism seem to be hitting me like a train wreck. My stomach and digestive system have been in a full-blown retaliation the past few days, hence the, “I’m uncomfortable,” utterance tonight. My lower back has decided to make itself known in a very loud and protesting way recently. The lower back, according to Louise Hay, is directly related to fears and insecurities, surrounding love, money, career, and self. Yeah, I can basically put big, fat checks next to all of those. It’s true, the mind and body are intricately intertwined. I still wish my lower back and stomach would calm down. They are certainly not aiding in the quieting of the mind that is necessary in beginning to heal them.

I have been slowly venturing into a new career. While I love it, I am not yet at home in this new skin. I feel a little wobbly and unsure of myself while my confidence gradually builds. Change, not my forte. I am finding that giving myself what I want, what I need, and allowing myself to be happy is harder than I thought. It feels like a foreign country many days. I know it will get easier, but while I truck through the messy part of transitioning into something new, “I’m uncomfortable.”

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About djunapassman

I teach yoga, write, and edit. I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood that is changing faster than I can, or care to, keep up with. Manhattan still beckons me to her island a few subways stops away, reminding me of when I lived amongst her daily hustle and bustle.
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