I had begun writing a piece earlier today that I fully intended to use as my blog post this evening. And then something happened. I accidentally emailed a rough draft of this piece to a friend. I had intended to email it to myself as I was writing it using the computer at work. I was consumed with self-doubt and insecurities. I frantically emailed her not to read the email. Then I texted her not to read the email, just in case. In that instant I realized how truly vulnerable sharing creative work with others is.
I do not take many risks with what or how I write in this blog. The reason is simple, people will be reading it, lots of people. I am sharing myself, my experiences, my views of the world with all of you lovely readers…that is scary. I had convinced myself that sharing my writing had become no big deal, until today. The piece I was writing was personal and from a slightly different slant. I was trying to push myself creatively to write in a new way. I have been writing with a pen and paper daily again and I have realized how stuck and limited I have been in my writing for this blog. I’ve entered a comfort zone so that the fear of sharing myself daily through writing is not quite so terrifying.
I opened Natalie Goldberg’s, Writing Down the Bones and found myself reading through the chapter called, “Nervously Sipping Wine,” because, well, that was what I was doing at the time. I was nervously sipping wine wondering what to write tonight. The last two sentences of the chapter strongly resonated with me. “Take chances. You will succeed if you are fearless or failure.” I fear failure, but I am ready to take some chances in my writing.