Snug as a Bug in a Rug

The length of the hallway between my apartment door and the apartment door of my neighbor directly across from me is four feet at most. For over a month now there has been a rolled up area rug inhabiting this tiny space. I was irked for the first week, but didn’t care too much. Clearly someone they knew wanted the rug and had not gotten around to picking it up. Or maybe they redecorated and needed some time to consider whether or not the rug should be kept. By the second week my patience was starting to wear thin. By the third week I took to leaning the rug against their front door so it would fall in on them every time they left the apartment. It was my passive aggressive attempt at getting them to find a new home for the rug. I spent many evenings considering the idea that I could just lug the rug down to the basement myself. The fear of getting caught mid journey with a rug that does not belong to me has prevented me from enacting this plan. If I saw these neighbors the way I regularly see my other neighbors I could broach the subject in person, but I have NEVER seen these neighbors. Weird, right?

I have debated taping a note to their door. All of the below were in the running for note to asshole neighbors.

Do you think the hallway is your own personal storage closet?

Maybe you weren’t aware, but trash that does not fit down the trash chute gets taken down to the basement…by YOU.

Why are you such an asshole? Move the fucking rug!

Maybe I should move my couch out into the hallway…it matches your rug perfectly.


After talking with a friend the other day she pointed out the very real consequence any action could have. Their front door is feet away from my front door. Starting a neighborly feud is probably not in my best interest. As I have never met these people, and they seem to think nothing of leaving their crap in municipal building space, I have no idea what their reactions may or may not be. All I really know is that they do not mind having a rug fall on them every time they attempt to leave their apartment.


About djunapassman

I teach yoga, write, and edit. I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood that is changing faster than I can, or care to, keep up with. Manhattan still beckons me to her island a few subways stops away, reminding me of when I lived amongst her daily hustle and bustle.
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