I have a serious case of crankiness. It set in yesterday evening after I forced myself to edit an article I really didn’t want to work on. Two hours later, my work was done and I was ready to tantrum at everything from finding a piece of lint on the floor where I had just swept to my pen running out of ink. The cat, who had patiently waited for me to finish my work at the computer, desperately wanted attention. I desperately wanted space. Had it not been 9:00PM and insanely windy outside I would have gone for a walk. Trying to claim your own space in a studio apartment with a cat following you around and rubbing up against you whenever you stop is maddening. I have never felt the confines of those four walls as I did last night. Nor have I ever wanted so little to do with my sweet, loving cat who I usually crave cuddling and playing with. I was CRANKY.
I sat in the bathtub, sulking, trying to figure out why I was suddenly so cranky. I had a leisurely morning, did some yoga, I taught ballet to a group of adorable three and four year old girls in the afternoon, then I met a friend and we had a beer while sitting outside in the sun, it was a lovely day (minus the two hours of editing). I continued to sulk in the bathtub while reading the Time Out New York magazine that had just come in the mail. When the water started to get tepid, I grumbled and turned the hot water on to add some more warmth. I got out of the tub and sat on my couch grumbling while drinking another beer. The poor cat sat on a sweater I had tossed on the bed looking at me with the cutest, most pathetic expression she could muster.
I woke up tired this morning, because I had stayed up too late grumping on the couch. I got to work without much more than some mild annoyances on the over-crowded subway. I took a yoga class (working at a yoga studio means I get to take yoga classes while I’m at work), which settled me a little. I chatted with some of the regular students. I’m sitting at work writing this right now. I’m going to a private Pilates session after work then meeting an old friend I haven’t seen in a while for dinner and a show. I have absolutely nothing to complain about from either yesterday or today. And yet, I’m cranky. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to sit and grump. It’s really pretty ridiculous; I wish I would just snap out of it already.