I’m a Phony

I am an imposter. I can cleverly pass most of the time, but then there are times when the truth is revealed, I am not a full-fledged adult. Take this morning. I woke up to find I had no toilet paper. And I do mean NO toilet paper. When did I become the person who uses the last of a roll and doesn’t bother to check if there is more in the closet or under the sink? More importantly, how did this happen? Okay, I live across the street from a Rite-Aid and there is a Duane Reade two blocks away, minor crisis, not major. Still…when did I become that flaky with major household items? Minutes later, toilet paper in hand, I realized I was starving. No problem, I did a huge grocery shopping yesterday. I have tons of food. Well, tons of food for lunch, dinner, and snacks. I have no breakfast foods. Sure, in some countries they eat pasta and rice for breakfast, but that is not what I want at 9:30AM. I don’t even want the lemon cookies that I’m sure would be so delicious dipped in coffee. I want toast or a piece of fruit. I have peanut butter and jelly, just no bread. I have my own granola company and I don’t even have granola stashed anywhere. Epic fail. I am stuck having pasta for breakfast.

Then there is this blog. I was on a roll writing daily. Then I missed a day, then a week, then it became second nature to simply not write when it isn’t convenient. I have ceased to take full responsibility for the things I say I am going to do, not very adult-like. I can’t even keep promises I make to myself, I’m really on a roll here. I wanted to write last night, really, I did, but I had spent all day sitting in front of my computer editing awful graduate theses and the thought of spending one more minute in front of the computer screen seemed unbearable. So, I had a beer and went to bed early. Yes, I had beer, but no toilet paper in the house. It’s just one of those weeks.


About djunapassman

I teach yoga, write, and edit. I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood that is changing faster than I can, or care to, keep up with. Manhattan still beckons me to her island a few subways stops away, reminding me of when I lived amongst her daily hustle and bustle.
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