I unexpectedly had today off. All of my private clients canceled last minute because of being ill or having sick children home from school to tend to. In case you were wondering, your yoga teacher does not want to come to your home and guide you through sun salutations while your 6-year-old is home with the stomach flu. So don’t even ask. And, my regularly scheduled evening class was canceled for the studio’s annual holiday kirtan. This morning I allowed myself to go back to bed and doze off while cuddling with my cat for an extra 45 minutes of sleep. I leisurely puttered around my apartment before going to a long yoga class with lots of juicy stretchy, slow sequences of movement, and luscious restorative and yin poses for the last half hour. (I’ll share more about this class and my discoveries at a later date and time.) With the rest of the afternoon ahead of me I finally got a much needed manicure and pedicure. I finally feel like a human again and my hangnails won’t get caught on my students’ $100 yoga pants when I adjust them. And now I am casually writing this post, deciding which bottle of wine to open so I can enjoy a glass of wine while soaking in a hot tub.
This day off was not quite as lackadaisical as I have painted it though. I am a perfectionist and a people pleaser. There were lots of things I probably should have done. There were even some things I felt quasi-obligated to do despite not really wanting to do them, especially not on an unexpected day off. There was a lot of time spent talking myself off my proverbial ledge of, I can’t spend the whole day doing what I want to do and taking care of myself because… Then I had a break through, or a break down depending on how you look at it, on my yoga mat – I needed to spend the day taking care of myself. The exhaustion I was blaming on everything under the sun, except lack of self-care, was in the end all because of the fact that I had spent the week taking care of all my students without pausing to take care of myself. I decided to let myself feel guilty and anxious over things I felt obligated to do without actually giving in to these feelings. I have taken the whole day, thus far, to take care of myself…and I intend to continue into the evening. I will be better for it, as will all the people I encounter tomorrow.