One thing you should know about me, if you don’t already, is that I am not one for sappy optimism or placing bets on happy endings. I have, over the years and with lots of work in therapy, transitioned from being a full-blown pessimist to being a realist. It doesn’t matter if the glass is half-full or half-empty, there is liquid in the glass so shut up and drink it, especially if it is wine or coffee. And yet, my hard little shell has been cracked a few times in the last two days. Maybe because things have been exceptionally challenging and hard recently. Maybe because I have felt completely broken open and blown apart, and now I know I need to focus on growing instead of falling apart. Whatever it may be, I have found a little, teeny, tiny speck of Pollyanna optimism underneath all of my cynicism. I offer you a fair warning, the rest of this post will be a bit sappy.
Yesterday evening there was a storm and as the rain slowed the sun began to emerge from the dark storm clouds. I immediately rushed to my window knowing that sun directly after rain often means a rainbow. (I needed a rainbow yesterday.) I was greeted by the most spectacular rainbow just outside my bedroom windows.
I was reminded that in order for there to be beauty, growth, and miracles (yes, I am tossing in that big, loaded word…miracles) there must be storms. No storm. No rainbow.
I have also been pondering the beauty of my downstairs neighbors’ tree blooming. This winter was brutal, and yet, the same tree I have watched blossom for three years now, exploded in all of its splendid glory announcing spring. Nature knows how to blossom, wither, die, and start all over again, it is we humans that have difficulty with this natural and beautiful cycle.
This winter brought me face-to-face with some literal and figurative deaths. And yet, I am still here. I am fortunate to have the choice to blossom just like the tree outside my windows. And so, blossom I must. (I warned you this was going to be sappy.)