May 18, 2020 – Day 57 of Quarantine
My mind grasps at familiar habits by trying to plan for the future. More than ever it just feels like trying to hold water in a fist. I begin pondering big changes. Is this the time with everything so in flux and unknown? Is this the wrong time for precisely the same reasons? I have been pondering shifts for quite some time, but as my mind frantically runs in its hamster wheel getting absolutely nowhere I can’t help wondering if I am simply trying to run away from the discomfort of the present.
The pots and soil I ordered last week arrived in the afternoon so I busied myself with planting tomato seedlings and heads of lettuce. There is something satisfying and grounding about digging my hands into the soil. I talk to the tomato seedlings as I untangle their entwined roots, separating them so they can finally begin growing into their full potential. I wonder what I am unconsciously still wrapped up in that might be preventing me from growing into my fullest potential.
Song I’m listening to today: