May 19, 2020 – Day 58 of Quarantine
Wind whips through the neighborhood blowing into the open window causing a dress in my closet to sway rhythmically with the newly grown green leaves on the tree outside. It’s beautiful and ominous, and irritating. Today, everything irritates me. I’m cranky, which, I suppose is allowed, but my crankiness becomes just one more thing irritating me. I’m not interested in snapping out of my funk as it, just like the wind, causes everything around me to ruffle and sway. Even the cat knows to stay out of my way. I’m not interested in exploring what lie just beneath all the irritation and crankiness. So, I let work distract me. My students pull me out of my crankiness while I teach.
As I sit here attempting to finish this post my eyes are continually drawn away from the screen to the trees swaying in the wind. I marvel at the fact that at the beginning of this quarantine many of the trees were still bare from winter. I watched buds pop up and blossom then fall to the ground making way for the lush greenery that captures my eye in this moment. I know this mood I am in will be swayed by some internal or external force soon enough. I know my crankiness will give way to something else just as the blossoms on the trees give way to the green leaves. I know this current state of quarantine will transition into something else too. What? I’m not sure any of us know the answer to that question just yet.
Song I’m listening to today: